Is it time to move on?

I just realized that things have gotten out of hand since "it" first started. I don't know where I am at this point, and I don't even know if I will ever get to where I want to get to. What's worse is I've never felt more confused in my life; I know how I feel, but not what to think.

So is it time to move on? And how do I do it?

By tonight me and my peers will have to decide who among us will leave Phil-Am Life Tower to transfer permanently to be the GCC POC in NetPlaza. I was actually surprised when I found out that we needed to make a decision on that because all along I thought it would be one of our two new peers who would transfer for sure. A few people are convinced that I will be the best fit to be the GCC POC for the new site because I'm the most tenured in our group, and one of the new AVP's, who herself will be assigned to NetPlaza, even asked me how I plan to tackle the transfer as she seemed to have been informed already that I was indeed going to be the one to transfer.

Putting things in perspective, I guess this just might be an easier move than forcing myself through an ordeal that will only end up with me getting an even bigger heartache than what I already have now. And this way, even if I, unsurprisingly, find myself wanting to give it another shot... I just won't be able to.

But how do you say "Good bye" to someone you've said "I love you" to less than 24 hours ago.

...

You don't have to say or do anything back after reading this, I just hope that things won't change between the two of us. I've been wanting to tell you something for quite some time now, I was going to wait until after the competition but that's already too late for me.

Anyway... I would be lying if I told you that you're still in my head, because you are already in my heart.

I LOVE YOU JHAB, and I mean it.

*SIGH*

MIGRAINE - Moonstar88

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako, nangangarap na mapa-sayo
Hindi sinasadya
Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko
Asan nga ba ako? Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Nasusuka ako, kinakain na ang loob
Masakit na mga tuhod, kailangan bang lumuhod?
Gusto ko lang naman, yung totoo
Yung tipong ang sagot, ay di rin isang tanong

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?

Dahil, di na makatulog (makatulog)
Dahil di na makakain (makakain)
Dahil di na makatawa (makatawa)
Dahil, di na

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito na lang ako

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo... Nahihilo...
Nalilito...

100 Truths

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage = Whey Protein drink
2. Last phone call = Voice Mail
3. Last text message = Barry
4. Last song you listened to = Smash Into You
5. Last time you cried = Can't remembet (I always try to just keep it in)

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice = Yes
7. Been cheated on = Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it = Yes
9. Lost someone special = Yes
10. Been depressed = I have been...
11. Been drunk and threw up = Never

FIRST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Aquamarine
13. Teal
14. Blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)

15. Made a new friend = Yes
16. Fallen out of love = No
17. Laughed until you cried = Yes
18. Met someone who changed you = Oh definitely...
19. Found out who your true friends were = Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you = A group of not-so-friends, actually
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list = Yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life = 99%
23. How many kids do you want to have = None
24. Do you have any pets = No
25. Do you want to change your name? = No
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Lunch with friends and family
27. What time did you wake up today = 5:23 AM
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = Sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Nov. 20, 2009 (Great Bodies 2009 main event)
30. Last time you saw your Mother = Two weeks ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? = ...
32. What are you listening to right now = Silence
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = No
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = Let's discuss this elsewhere
35. Most visited web page = Engadget, DailyTech, TGDaily
36. Whats your real name = Lucien
38. Relationship Status = Single
39. Zodiac sign = Taurus
40. Male or female? = Male (It's on my effin' profile)
41. Primary School = La Salle GreenHills
42. Middle School = La Salle GreenHills
43. Colleges = University of the Philippines
44. Hair colour = Black
45. Long or short = Short
46. Height = 5'4.5
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = I think this is common knowledge in the office
48: What do you like about yourself? = What's not to like? KIDDING! Ummm... I don't know
49. Piercings = Heart (Figure it out)
50. Tattoos - None
51. Righty or lefty = Right

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery = 2007
53. First piercing = N/A
54. First best friend = Like from Grade School? I can't remember his name. LOL!
55. First sport you joined = I can't remember
56. First vacation = Either Baguio or Bicol

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating = Just did
60. Drinking = I will before leaving for the gym
61. I'm about to = go to the gym
62. Listening to = Silence
63. Waiting for = Tonight

YOUR FUTURE :

64. Want kids? = No
65. Get Married? = If it's possible
66. Career? = Ahem...

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes = Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses = Hugs
69. Shorter or taller = Taller
70. Older or Younger = Older
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Nice stomach
73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger = Yes (He was technically a stranger at that time, LOL!)
77. Drank hard liquor= Yes (Did nothing, zero, nada...)
78. Lost glasses/contacts = Yes
79. Sex on first date = What kind of question is this?
80. Broken someone's heart = Yes
81. Had your own heart broken = Yes
82. Been arrested = No
83. Turned someone down = Yes
84. Cried when someone died = Yes
85. Fallen for a friend? = Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = Yes
87. Miracles = No
88. Love at first sight = No
89. Heaven = Yes
90. Santa Claus = No
91. Kiss on the first date = Yes
92. Angels = There's one in the office... I see him whenever I look at a mirror.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time = No
95. Did you sing today? = Yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = No (Well, I cheated on my trainer when I had that mango crepe the other Saturday. LOL!)
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? = 6 years and about a month or two...
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = Too late...
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = Yes

Help...

Does anyone know this guy? HTTP://www.ManJam.com/Roswell

He was sending me messages earlier and I am bother by how much he seems to know about my personal and work life. I pasted our message history below, by the way. What do you think guys? And yes, I haven't received a response to my last message to him.

Him: good morning lucien!

Me: I'm sorry, but do I know you?

Him: nope. i just happen to know little things about you. how was the training in US last year?

Me: Great, thanks. It was a little too short though...

Him: im happy for your promotion, too late for the congratulatory remark. word was it had been tough landing a promotion due to "socialization at work". but it is really good knowing you are no longer an agent. what is the latest gadget you have invested after the headphones last year?

Me: I'm sorry... Who are you, exactly?

My promotion required no "socialization" from any individual's end, including my own.

Him: you have applied to lot of position in chase and you were denied because you dont know hot get along with your people. good thing the position you are in right now doesnt require much contact with co-workers.

Me: Who are you, exactly?

I get along fine with the supervisors and managers. Even the agents would agree that I am the most approachable individual from our department.

Him: im sorry i didnt mean to offend you in any way.
go to go, time to hit the sheets.
nice talking to you again lucien!
word from the wise, you will be loved and the better part is, that someone can look past your vanity and other issues.
dont settle for anything less and dont let yourself be 'the mistress" again.
again, no offense meant. i just want you to know that you deserve better, in time you will get it.

Me: Again? Huh? Did we use to talk to each other? Who are you?